Saturday, December 31, 2011

Go the F to Sleep Part II

Picture it - Last night, 3AM. Everyone was sleeping soundly until...


"Eh! ..... Eh!"

Stage 1: DENIAL
Maybe it's just static... or a far-off drive-by shooting... or the monitor is picking up some other random baby in the neighborhood...

"Ick! Eh! Ick!"

Stage 2: ANGER
Ohhhhh, fuddddggggge... definitely my kid...

"Ehhhhhhhhhh?  Ick! Ehhhhhhh???!!!"

Stage 3: BARGAINING
Penny, If you give me one more hour (FIVE MORE MINUTES???) of sleep, I will give you extra tickles in the morning. And a pony.

"EHHHHHH! EHHHHHHHH!!!!???"

Stage 4: DEPRESSION
I am never going to sleep a full night ever again. Ever. When she is in college, I will have to travel to her dorm at 3AM, give her a glass a milk, throw her over my shoulder and walk her around the room until she falls back asleep...

"EhhhhhhhhhhWAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE
Okay, I'm up.

Rinse, repeat.

It was a rough night...


But we were all smiles in the morning. And she still got extra tickles... call me a push over, I guess.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Oldies but Goodies...

The blog has been getting a little content-heavy (i.e. TOO MANY WORDS), so how about just some pictures that I've taken and haven't found a spot to put? They're out of order, out of context, but enjoy any way...


Monday, December 26, 2011

Penny and Infant Cataracts

Now that Christmas is over we are going to get down to business on this blog and have a serious conversation about infant cataracts. Why? Because Penny apparently has one.

Short Story:
After being referred to an ophthalmologist by the pediatrician, we now know that Penny has a cataract in her left eye. The doctor does not think that it is surgical right now (it is out of her line of vision and her vision testing in general is fine), and he also doesn't think it's a symptom of another disease. He would like us to see a pediatric ophthalmologist, however, to get a second opinion.

Long (LONG) Story:
About a month ago, I noticed a weird coloring in Penny's pupil... it looked like there was a pie slice of grayish bluish in her pupil, but it could only be seen in certain light and when there wasn't too much reflection. It stumped the nurse on the phone, so we went into the pediatrician. The pediatrician did a fairly quick exam, and determined that it was some kind of opacity of the lens, which I guess is a cataract, but he never said the word "cataract." He said that he didn't think it was anything serious or affecting her vision, but referred us to an ophthalmologist in town, who we saw about a month later since it takes time to see a specialist. The ophthalmologist did a more thorough exam, including dilating her eye, and confirmed that it is indeed a cataract. He said that sometimes cataracts can be indicative of metabolic disorders or other genetic conditions, but since it is only in one eye, he doesn't think that is the case with Penny. He kept asking if the OB used forceps when Penny was born, as infant cataracts can often be a sign of trauma, but she was C-section. And there hasn't been any trauma since - I PROMISE (pinky swear!) you we have not dropped her... He also doesn't think she would need it to be removed surgically since it looks like it's out of her field of vision (wouldn't it be nice if we could ask her???), but that she will probably need cataract surgery earlier in life than most people. But, since this is such a rare thing with no clear cause, he wants us to see a pediatric ophthalmologist, which is an hour away. We are still waiting to find out when that appointment is since the office was closed Friday for the holiday.

And then I consulted Dr. Google. Dr. Google can be a cruel bastard sometimes, but in this case I thought it might be a good idea to come armed with some information so I can ask the right questions when we see the really special specialist. I found out some interesting things:

First, infant cataracts are extremely rare - like, 3 out of 10,000. First I tried to look up some general things about infant cataracts. I discovered that they can sometimes be detected with the use of the camera that doesn't have red eye correction. When taking a photograph, red eye is a GOOD thing because it means there aren't any cataracts. If there is no red eye, a cataract could be blocking the reflection from the retina. With today's cameras having such good red eye correction, however, this is almost useless. What's interesting though is that I took a picture of Penny shortly after we got home from the ophthalmologist.


You can see that her right eye has the red eye and her left does not (where the cataract is). Normally, my camera would erase the red eye, but I'm guessing that since her eyes were still dilated, it didn't detect it. Or maybe it's because it was only in one eye, who knows. The point is that I feel good about this, because it basically confirms there is no cataract in the right eye, which could indicate a more severe condition.

Naturally, I Googled these conditions to make sure Penny didn't have other symptoms. It was dangerous territory... I am not one who needs anything else to be paranoid about with my kid, but again, I wanted to be informed. Luckily I couldn't find anything that Penny could remotely have. Rubella? Nope. Lowe's Syndrome? Highly unlikely with her good muscle strength and the fact she's female. And on and on... This isn't to say that I didn't miss something, but I do feel better about it.

I wish they could tell me definitively that the one cataract is the end of the issue and that she won't have anymore problems related to it, but I know they can't. I just have to hope and pray that it is an isolated thing that we can overcome, even if we have a few vision issues along the road. Luckily her development seems to be right on track and is otherwise pretty happy and healthy - all good signs.

In the meantime I was beside myself trying to figure out if she could have had this since birth. After all - she's had a couple eye exams at well baby visits and her vision was checked at birth. How could they miss it if I could see it with the naked eye? Luckily Andrew's dad has been taking pictures along the way, and he has a very sophisticated camera. We blew up a picture we believe was taken 19 days after birth, and we can ever so slightly see the cataract pie slice even then. The ophthalmologist said that it would be easy to miss at her exams since it is at the top of the pupil, and therefore behind the iris when her eyes are not dilated in brighter light (or something to that effect). Plus, she doesn't exactly sit still.

So, I wish I could say I wasn't worried anymore, but I am and always will be. I guess it's part of the gig about being a mother.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Baby's First Christmas

 Penny made her very first art project...

 And no, she doesn't have extra toes... she's just wiggly.


I couldn't ask for a better Christmas present. We had a pretty low-key holiday weekend, which is perfect with a little baby. Last night, Andrew and I had dinner at Denny's with Maggie and Rob for Christmas Eve. Yes, that's right - Denny's is ALWAYS open. Today we had a nice meal/visit at Grandma and Grandpa's, and visited with aunts, uncles, cousins... it was a good time. It's so nice to get together and hang out, talk.

A word that is often thrown around with Christmas is "tradition." As excited as I am for Christmases "with kids," I didn't push too much this year. I do love the idea of traditions, however, I don't see the point until Penny can at least somewhat remember and participate - hopefully next year. I have been reading about some great Christmas tradition ideas on Pinterest and whathaveyou, so I'd like to post them here for future use. I can't imagine we'll do ALL of these, but I'm game for just seeing what fits into our lives when it's time.

  • Get hot cocoa and drive around looking at Christmas lights.
  • Watch "Elf" - the best Christmas move ever. Maybe add some sort of traditional snack.
  • 12 days before Christmas - start singing the song and add a verse each night.
  • Wrap up Christmas-themed books (even used... unwrapping is fun no matter what) - open one each night and read it before bed. Could do 25 like an advent calendar or 12 and do it with the 12 days of Christmas song thing
  • Matching PJ's Christmas morning. If I ever get good with my sewing machine, I could make them myself.
  • Read the story of Jesus's birth from the bible before dinner. My dad always did this, and I am honored to carry on this tradition with his bible.
  • I'd also like to do other things to make sure my kids know the true Reason for the Season - but a lot of that may have to do with how involved we are with a church at the time.
  • If I could ever convince Andrew to get a real Christmas tree again, I'd love to do the whole Christmas Tree Farm thing. I also have a feeling that I'm going to be one of those people that have multiple trees in various rooms...
  • Open stocking gifts on Christmas Eve. We did this as kids and it helped tide us over until opening actual gifts on Christmas Day.
  • Baking. Maybe bake goodies for the neighbors and deliver them? I just have this vision of a whole day (weekend?) having the house smell like cookies and cakes, with everyone pitching in and tasting along the way. Holidays are not for diets.
  • Game nights. Invite lots of friends (ours and the kids), family and play Christmas Bingo, Christmas charades, and whatever other Christmas-themed games we can come up with. It would also be fun to have dollar-store mystery prizes wrapped up for winners.  
  • Some sort of volunteer work. I want to teach my children to give as well as to receive graciously.
  • Christmas cards. We actually did send them this year. I'd love to get creative with the picture/design. 
  • I don't know about the Elf on a Shelf, perhaps mostly because I don't know about Santa Clause. Bah humbug, right? My thoughts are right now that I'd love to practice the Santa Clause thing, but with the children having the knowledge that he's not real (and seriously, don't tell the other kids). I really just don't want my kids to be greedy, and I don't think the Santa thing helps that. I also don't like the "you have to be good to get presents/naughty or nice" thing - kids should behave because that's the right thing to do, and they get presents because it's a holiday. I've never met anyone who has done it this way - but I would love to find one and ask how it is going. In my mind, naive as it may be, I feel like my kids won't be missing out knowing Santa is a fictional character.
Whew! So nice to get this all out to wrap up our first Christmas as a family of three. Because of the festivities, Penny only got two short naps in today, so she went to bed early. Back to unwinding...

Oh, and Merry Christmas from Andrew, Penny, and me!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Year Ago Today...

Christmas Eve 2010 - 7:00 AM

I peed on a stick. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high because I had tested four days prior and got a negative result. I also had been spotting throughout the week, which I kept assuming was my period starting, but it never really...started.

I wanted to do it right - test on the first pee of the day, hence my early morning endeavor. I carefully unwrapped the First Response contraption (5 days before your missed period, my ass), sat down on the porcelain throne, aimed, fired. I'm not going to lie to you, pee splashed everywhere. But never mind that, because mere seconds later, two perfectly pink lines appeared in the window of the test.

Hows that for a little Christmas Eve TMI for ya????

Any way...

I crawled back into bed with just enough bounce to be sure to startle sleeping Andrew.

*Whispering*
Me: Are you awake?
Andrew: Kind of... why?
Me: I think you need to be awake...
Andrew (somewhat alert): Why?
Me: I think I'm pregnant.

And we hugged and kissed and it was glorious and the moment I had always wanted it to be. As much as I love the cutsie ways to deliver the good news (buy him a mug that says "Daddy" or stick a roll [bun] in the oven for him to find, etc.), it's really not our style. Plus, seriously, I could not wait a second longer to tell him, let alone spend days orchestrating some intricate plan.


And yep... I took pictures. After all, it was the best Christmas present EVER.

So I'm spending THIS Christmas Eve morning with my two favorite people...



...and our not-so-little dog, too.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

A conversation with Penny Lu...

 "Word on the street is that on Christmas morning, this big guy in a red suit leaves presents."


"And I guess he has this list? Of who's been good this year?"



"So from here on out, I'm sleeping through the night, never blowing out my diaper, napping three times a day and I'm all smiles all day long."



"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"



"BAZINGA!"


"But, seriously, there will be presents, right?"

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Go the F to Sleep

It's a book. Look it up.

But seriously, I want to mark this day as "The time that Andrew brought the hand mixer into the spare bedroom down the hall to beat enchilada sauce so that he wouldn't wake Penny from her nap." And you know what? I don't even mind if he splattered a little on the bed because my little princess is still soundly asleep in her swing.

Sometimes I look at pictures of her sleeping to remind myself that she does it at all...








Good thing she's really cute. : )

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

These are a few of my favorite things...

Here is a list of what rocks Penny's world...



The bath. Penny loves her a good soak. This is actually a picture of her first. She now enjoys bath time with many bubbles and we have a red foamy thing because she pooped all over the blue one. In the interest of sequencing, I probably should have listed this one last because it's part of our bed time routine, but oh well.


The Bumbo chair. Penny loves to sit up straight and be where the action is - the Bumbo makes that possible. I'd love to get the tray for it, but I'm not sure if you can buy it separately and who knows how much longer she'll fit in this thing. Luckily she is starting to warm up to the high chair.


The changing table. It's about the only place she will happily lay flat except for when she's sleeping in her crib. I don't know if it's because she knows she's going to get a clean diaper or if it's because she's sure to get some tickling, but either way, it's Penny Approved.


Sophie the Giraffe. This guy is rather alien looking and dog toy-esque, but by golly, it's delicious. -Especially now that we appear to be teething (yikes!).




The swing. This is actually where she takes every daytime nap. The rocking helps her nap longer, and instead of waking up alone and screaming in her crib, she just chills for a bit until she's ready for socialization.


The winkel. So simple but genius for Penny's stage of development. She loves to try to grasp things, but isn't quite as coordinated as her brain wants her to be. All the plastic tubes allow her to get a pretty good grip, and there's a little rattle in the middle.

So these are the things that Penny is loving lately. Don't worry, it'll change next week. : )




Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Birth

I would like to get the birth story down before I completely forget. It's a novel, but hopefully a decent read for those interested:

Picture it... August 31, 2011. My 39 week appointment. I looked something like this:



I had been sent to the hospital three other times for high blood pressure, but came home babyless as my pressure would go down after sitting on the monitor for a couple hours (what is more relaxing than laying around listening your baby's heartbeat?). This time, however, my OBGYN promised induction. So that night - it was a Wednesday - Andrew and I headed to the hospital for the last night it would just be him and I.

Now we may get into TMI territory here, but stay with me. We got registered and settled in our room, and soon after I was given medication to soften my cervix. Let me tell you that at that point, I had absolutely NO progress as far as being ready to deliver. No dilation, no nothing, but my blood pressure was out of control so it was time to have a baby. Then we waited. And waited. And then we waited some more. The hospital's television system leaves much to be desired, but it's difficult to be too bored with the impending birth. I started getting contractions shortly after, but they really weren't that bad - just uncomfortable. Now, I know what you're thinking... "contractions... not that bad... what the WHA...???". More on that later.

After a couple doses of the cervix-softener, they decided I was having too many contractions to have another dose. They didn't want things to go too quickly - the plan at that point was to have my OB break my water manually at 8AM or so when he got in, start me on Pitocen, and push out a baby later that day.

My body had other plans.

My water broke on its own at 6 AM, and sure enough, Andrew was the only one who had gotten any sleep, despite the very uncomfortable hide-away bed couch thing he was given. I got as cleaned up as possible, and then it was officially GAME TIME. The REAL contractions started and I was promptly in Hell. You really do forget how the pain feels (at least I did), but I remember wanting to climb out of my body and physically tried to do so throughout the morning. It only got worse when I was put on Pitocen to get things really moving - I was still barely dilated and the head wasn't engaged.

For whatever reason that I seriously regret, I didn't get the epidural right away. I never had anything against epidurals and knew I would eventually get one, but I thought I would just wait it out for a while and see how things went down. So, instead they put me on Stadol. The thing about Stadol is that it never really helped the pain - it just made me so loopy that I forgot what was going on and who I was for that matter. I took a daydream-ridden drunk bath (with bubbles "just for fun!" my nurse said). When it finally wore off enough for me to figure out what the hell was happening to me, I told the nurse I was ready for the big guns. BRING ON THE EPIDURAL!!!

And then an angel came down from Heaven in the form of an anesthesiologist. He was very sweet... he explained everything to me in extreme detail and assured me that it was no big deal that a ginormous needle was going into my back and OH MY GOD JUST GIVE IT TO ME ALREADY!!!! The best part is they give you a button that you can press to give you an extra "boost" when you need it. Unfortunately something wasn't quite right and I could still feel the contractions slightly on my left side, which wasn't terrible at the time, but I was terrified about what it would feel when it was Time to Push. Even more unfortunately, I never dilated past 6cm or so (you have to get to 10). They gave me until 9pm, and then it was decided that I would be getting a C-section. Truth be told, I was not that disappointed. I would even go as far as to say I was relieved to not have to push a watermelon out of my hoo-hah. I'll spare you the details of the C-section since I haven't spared a whole lot so far, but I will say that Andrew was amazing, the surgeons were amazing, and the spinal that I got was extra amazing.



Penny Lu was born September 1st, 10pm, 8 lbs 5 oz. She came out healthy and perfect and SCREAMING bloody murder, but it was a comforting sound at the time.


I haven't slept much since, but you know what?






Totally worth it.